Is your child hyperactive or does he need better core strength?

A couple years ago, I read about an eye-opening study by an ADHD researcher named Dr. Carsten Vogt that put the whole “kids need recess” debate into perspective for me. Intuitively, we know kids need to move and we know we feel better when we move than when we are stuck in an airplane seat or flopped on the couch all weekend. It’s all about core strength!

But this study demonstrated that kids with weak core muscles who were being evaluated for ADHD had higher levels of movement (which could cause them to be rated hyperactive) than kids with strong core muscles. Basically, kids with weak muscles can’t sit still so they look fidgety and inattentive, so they are more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD! But it’s not their brains that can’t pay attention, it’s their bodies! Or rather, what their brains need is a stronger body to sit on top of!

Whoa.

A diagnosis of ADHD can have life-long consequences and it comes with a whole host of educational, medical, and social-emotional decisions and work to be done. But what if some of those kids who can’t sit still just lack physical strength?

Even without the large consequences of an ADHD diagnosis, poor core strength can affect kids in many ways. Throughout the school day, we ask them to sit and stand and reach and write. It all starts with a strong, stable core.

But do you have to put your preschooler through core strengthening boot camp? Nope! Read on for some playful ways to get your kids off to a (physically) strong start at school.

What does poor core strength look like?

Kids with poor core strength slump their shoulders forward when they sit. They might get fatigued easily when they run or have poor balance. They might always be looking for someone to push them on the swings or boost them up a ladder on the playground.

Miss Jaime, O.T. adds that leaning on you, the couch, or the table are more signs of poor core strength. So is sitting on the floor with legs in a W shape, with their feet behind them. A weak core can make kids fidget, swing their feet, or frequently switch position. Are you always asking your child to, “sit up,” “sit down,” or “just sit STILL!”? Maybe the problem is their bodies aren’t ready for those challenges.

This post from Skills for Action has a ton of photos and illustrations of what a child’s posture should look like. It really helped me understand what core muscles do!

Why is a weak core a problem?

At school, kids often have to sit on the rug or sit in chairs, or on backless benches in the cafeteria. Without core strength they lean and slump. They may be distracted by their uncomfortable bodies or feel tired. Try it now. Pull yourself up into your best charm school posture. Then slump down into your regular Friday afternoon, barely awake, posture. Which one makes you feel more energetic? Smarter? More alert and ready to learn?

Poor core strength can make it harder for kids to learn to write and read. They have to be able to control and coordinate their eyes, hands, arms and fingers and that’s harder if they are focused on just keeping their bodies upright.

Outside the classroom, weak core strength can affect kids’ performance in sports because it impacts their stamina and their balance. It can affect some classic kid activities like climbing the ladder to the slide, swinging on swings, biking and swimming.

And kids don’t want to do activities where they don’t feel successful, so a kid with a weak core isn’t going to be the one begging to practice riding his bike! So if you notice your child has a weak core and is having trouble with these activities, you may have to trick them into getting excited about core work with some of these fun activities!

Strengthen your child’s core (and yours!) through play

While this post from the Child’s Play Therapy Center recommends “good old fashioned outdoor play” to develop kids’ core strength, you might want a little more direction or guidance. Here are some of my favorite activities, collected from the sites I mentioned above:

  • Wheelbarrow walks
  • Play Twister
  • Pumping on a swing
  • Swimming
  • Biking
  • Chores like shoveling snow or carrying groceries (OK, this is secretly my favorite because I’m the mean mom that makes my 4-year-old do these things already)
  • Obstacle courses with crawling  
  • Simon Says with whole body movements (Simon says “do a bear crawl” or “hop like a frog”)
  • Yoga – I like the Cosmic Kids Yoga channel on YouTube for keeping my 4-year-old engaged and moving
  • If you’re looking for something with more clear instructions, this ebook from OT Mom looks great. I haven’t gotten it yet, but you can’t beat $5 for an ebook full of photographs of activities.

Good habits for building core strength

I hate to say this because it was a time of misery and strife at our house, but it’s time to work in some tummy time. I know! You thought you would never have to torture your children with it again once they could crawl and walk but working in that position is great for developing the neck and back muscles that support your child’s core. Lie down on the floor with them to drive cars, do a puzzle, or read a story. Bonus points if your activity has them shifting their weight to use their arms.

Another good habit that was frequently recommended is to have kids pay attention to the way they’re sitting. If they sit down to draw or write, remind them they want their feet on the floor (which reminds me, I need a small stool to put under the dining room table!) and their backs nice and straight. Give them seating options like backless stools and exercise balls while they are watching TV so they are less tempted to sprawl on the couch.

And model good habits! Maybe start reading bedtime stories sitting on the floor instead of curled up on the couch. Be active with your kids to help make you both stronger! Plus, it’s fun!

This is personal

My son is struggling a little with core strength now. He loves to write and draw and he loves to run and jump but he has never been a confident climber nor does he have the best balance. He’s an active kid with lots of terrific, age-appropriate skills. But when I watch him struggle to kick across the pool in a swimming lesson, my heart sinks. I want him to be able to do everything he wants to do and I feel like I’ve neglected this part of his development.

My plan this summer is to change the way we move, mix up our activities and give us both more opportunities to build core strength! Here’s to lots of bike rides and endless games of Simon Says!

What’s your favorite way to encourage core strength development in kids?



Is your child hyperactive or are his core muscles weak?


Is the secret to teaching handwriting on your playground?

Maybe you’ve started wondering, “How do I get my child to write her name?” or “Why does my child hate writing?” Maybe your friend’s preschooler or your nephew or your babysitter’s kid was drawing people and trees by this age and your child couldn’t care less about coloring. First of all, your child may be at a totally normal spot, developmentally, for her age. This chart from Understood.org shows that it is normal for preschoolers to be scribbling, beginning to copy letters, and maybe learning their names during the preschool years. They say children don’t necessarily learn to hold a pencil correctly until they are school age, between 5 and 7.

This list from Zero to Three is another great resource for the stages of handwriting. Up until 2 1/2, random scribbles are the name of the game. My son was mostly still biting crayons at two. Between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2, kids get more control of their scribbles and patterns – like zigzags and repeated lines – emerge. It’s normal for kids to start drawing recognizable objects and figures between the ages of 3 and 5. (That means some kids will start when they are five and that’s still fine!)

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, what can you do for your kids to help them get ready for writing, especially as you start to get ready for kindergarten? The answer may surprise you!

Think big

Before your kids can master the small muscle movements of writing, they need strength and coordination in their big muscles. This includes core strength and strong muscles in their shoulders and arms. So one of the best things you can do to help your kids learn to write the alphabet or learn to write their names is take them outside to run, jump, climb and swing!

This blog post from Miss Jaime, O.T., explains it nicely. Kids who have weak cores prop themselves up with an arm, lean on furniture, fidget in their chairs and won’t stay in their seats. She recommends a whole list of fun strengthening activities that you can work into your family routine. Some of the ones that I hadn’t thought of before were pumping on a swing, crawling through tunnels, and heavy work like carrying laundry and pushing a broom or shoveling.

Remember tummy time?

My son tolerated tummy time, as long as there was a mirror (he was a vain little creature) or something that made noise. My daughter just got MAD. And the more we tried, the madder she got. She didn’t start to crawl (just scooted around on her bum) until her favorite baby at daycare, who is 6 months younger, started getting mobile. Unfortunately for her, tummy time is the foundation for a lot of the core strength and shoulder strength she will need for good handwriting. The nurse practitioner in our doctor’s office explained that pushing up on their hands helps babies develop the muscles in their hands they need to crawl, but also to grasp objects, including pencils.

So if your child was a tummy time dropout, like my Ladybug, or if they don’t quite have the strength they need yet, think about some of the ways you got them on the floor when they were babies. Break out the floor puzzles. Put large paper and crayons on the floor and draw a huge map. Put blocks or Legos on the floor. Help them build a huge race track for their cars so they have to crawl around the floor to drive. Set up a crawling obstacle course or scavenger hunt that has them crawling on their bellies under chairs, stretching out one arm to grab a clue under the couch, or balancing (with a spotter!) on a yoga ball in the Superman position.

But shouldn’t they sit and practice, too?

OK, yes, preschoolers won’t get good at writing without writing and drawing. But if they hate it, there are lots of ways they can practice those movements without you breaking out the penmanship paper just yet!

Some great ways to get kids using their hands and arms in a way that will help them write are:

  • Playdough – squeezing, rolling, pinching, stamping. All those movements are great for little fingers!
  • Slime or putty – as much as it grosses me out, kids seem to love it!
  • Painting – with fingers, brushes or sponges. On the table, on the floor, on an easel, or with bathtub paints on the shower wall. Painting on a vertical surface like an easel or wall has the benefit of using their shoulder muscles and can help kids work on their grip, too.
  • Stringing beads – Check out the craft store to find the right size beads for your kid’s skill level. Make patterns, make bracelets for everyone they know, or just string and dump.
  • Sidewalk chalk – this has the bonus of getting them on their hands and knees, working their core and shoulders while practicing the BIG drawing movements they can use for handwriting later.
  • Legos – snap them together and pull them apart. Pick out tiny pieces from the pile.
  • Smaller pencils – When they do write, snap crayons in half or use golf pencils to encourage them to grip down near the tip of the tool for better control. Crayola makes little markers called PipSqueaks that are also great for little hands.

Understood.org has another great list of tips for getting kids to practice writing. Read it here.

So if your preschooler hates writing, or if you can’t begin to guess what they drew you, don’t panic! Give them lots of outside play to strengthen their cores, lots of play on the floor when they are stuck inside, and get creative with seated activities that use their finger and wrist muscles. When they have the strength to sit still and hold that pencil, you might be amazed with that they can draw and write!

Did your child hate tummy time? Who cried more, you or the baby? What is your preschooler’s favorite thing to do on the playground? Comment below to share your ideas!

Join my email list for more ideas, and updates on my upcoming book: 4 Big Things to Teach Your Child Before Kindergarten.

Potty independence – Zippers and wiping and handwashing – Oh, my!

If you’re getting ready to send your child to kindergarten, potty training may already feel like a distant memory. As I start to think about training my daughter, I realize I don’t really remember how we got my son to use the potty. My daughter is three years younger and a lot has happened in those three years! But I am realizing that the bathroom journey isn’t done with my four-year-old as I start to think about getting him ready for school. There are some things that he doesn’t seem to understand or can’t handle independently yet and they may really get in the way of his school experience! Here are some of the things we are working on.

Privacy

My four-year-old can tell you that the bathroom is a private place and that you need a private place to take off your clothes. And then, we have company, and I see that he doesn’t quite get it. I end up running from the dining room table (which has a perfect view of the bathroom!) to save the guests from an unexpected view!

Depending on the school, your child’s kindergarten might have a private bathroom in or near the classroom, or your child may have to use a multi stall bathroom like the older children do. Even if the kindergarten has a private bathroom, learning how to manage a public bathroom will be important if your child is going to the bathroom during lunch or in the gym.

The core message for your child is that every individual has a right to privacy when they use the bathroom. That means one person in the bathroom or stall at a time, close the door, lock the door, and when you’re done, come out with your clothes on and fastened. This can be tricky because when children are little they live in a world of “privacy… but…,” like Mom and Dad will come in to check on you if you’ve been in the bathroom too long or I’ll come in and wipe when you’re done. As a parent, I definitely don’t get privacy in the bathroom every time and even though my son understands that I want privacy when I’m in the bathroom it doesn’t stop him from coming in when two of his Legos are stuck together. Now is the time to start making those blurry lines around privacy a little sharper and more black and white. It may be a shift for your family, but it’s a shift that will help your child with the transition from being home to being in the more public world of school.

The paperwork

When my brother was potty training many years ago, my father famously told him that “the job’s not over until the paperwork is done.” I know a lot of preschoolers, and if we’re being honest, I’ve known some school-age kids, who still needed feedback on their cleanup job after using the bathroom. Now is the time to step up that gradual release of responsibility. I know that in a perfect world I would rather have my kids walking around clean than have them be walking around independent, but if they’re going off to school, they need to be able to do enough wiping to manage. They likely won’t have access to wet wipes either, so be sure that they get some practice cleaning up after using the bathroom with toilet paper only.

Fears

That brings me to a – perhaps less common but definitely real – problem for many students preparing to enter kindergarten. That is fears about using the bathroom on their own. For my son, it has been the sound of the loud flush in a large public bathroom. He also may run back out into the restaurant if the hand dryer comes on. While he may not encounter automatic hand dryers when he gets to school, he definitely does need a strategy for flushing the toilet on his own instead of hiding outside the stall while I do it for him.

Other kids have different fears that may interfere with their bathroom Independence. For example, in one school where I worked, the older students had convinced some of the first- and second-graders that one of the bathrooms was haunted. At least one student took it to heart and was running off the school bus in the afternoon and barely making it into the bathroom before having an accident because she was so afraid to use the bathroom at school. Another student I know began to avoid going to preschool out of the fear that he would have to poop there and no one would be in the bathroom to reassure him that he wouldn’t fall in. Every kid has their own quirky needs and worries in this area. Before they start kindergarten is the time to take a step back and think about whether any of your child’s peculiar anxieties are getting in the way of their safety and Independence in the bathroom.

Clothes

When I was in Americorps we had a uniform with a belt. It was a canvas belt with a free end that threaded through a metal clasp and then, as far as I could tell, became stuck there forever. I remember an embarrassing and nerve-wracking moment when I couldn’t get out of my uniform belt and had to stand there in the hallway while one of my teammates tried to free me, and I concentrated on not wetting my pants. I was 20, not a child. But that’s the memory I think of when I think about kids wearing belts and buttons and tights to school that they have to get out of to use the bathroom.

There are so many adorable kids’ clothes and school shopping is so exciting. Grandparents get in on the act, too, and buy adorable little outfits for the little boys and girls going off to school. And they make for great pictures! But before you send your child to school in a new kind of clothes, make sure that they can independently unfasten and fasten them in a limited amount of time. My son’s favorite pants all winter were a pair of hand-me-down khakis, but he could not get the hook at the top of the zipper done independently. It resulted in him walking around with his pants half open more often than I would like to think about. When I pick out school clothes for him, I go with all elastic waist and drawstring options that he can get in and out of efficiently I get back to his classroom. As his motor skills get better, more options will open up. And on the weekend, when he’s with the family, he can wear whatever he wants!

Hand washing

Kids are gross. Listen, I taught my son to wash his hands before I even taught him to use the bathroom. There’s a little song I made up and everything. And yet, I still catch him dipping his hands in the water, squirting a handful of soap, and rinsing it immediately into the sink and then drying his hands on my nice clean towel and trying to walk out of the bathroom. Yuck.

To an extent, kids are going to do a bad job with things like washing their hands and faces. Even if they know they’re getting rid of germs, they don’t really get it and they don’t really believe you that washing their hands will keep them healthy. So continue to reinforce this skill with your child and know that the teacher will, too. But you do have to accept that no one is going to supervise them scrubbing their hands every time. Yikes. So you may want to find out whether hand sanitizer is an option. In some schools it is, and others avoid it.

As much as it grosses me out (OK, I have a thing about germs) to think of a bunch of five-year-olds using the same bathroom all day with little adult intervention, I do realize that kids become independent eventually! This last window before your child starts school is your chance to give them the skills to be independent and confident so they can take care of business and get back to their classroom day!

Does your child have total bathroom independence? What if you weren't around to coach them?

Photo by Curology on Unsplash

I wrote a book about getting your preschooler ready for kindergarten. Join my mailing list for updates about the book and tips for preschool parents!



Sorry, I don’t tutor kindergartners – Here’s why

When I used to do test prep tutoring for high school students through some of the big tutoring companies, I pretty much only talked to parents who were looking for that specific product. I’ve been tutoring privately for two and a half years and now that I talk to a wider cross-section of parents, I am surprised by how often parents are looking for tutoring for their kindergartners! Sometimes, they feel their four- and five-year-olds have fallen behind kids their age and want them tutored in basic academic skills like letter names, shapes, and counting. Other times, they want their preschooler to “get ahead” so they can do well in kindergarten.

I’m sympathetic to these requests because I know starting school can be incredibly stressful for parents. I have a four-year-old myself and I find myself wondering all the time if he’ll do well when he starts school or if we have some hard work ahead of us.

As a reading and writing tutor, I don’t take on students that young. Especially working online, I don’t think I can meet the needs of the youngest learners. In fact, I would go as far as to say that I don’t think “tutoring,” in the traditional definition, is appropriate for students before around first grade.

I think that four- and five-year-old preschoolers and kindergartners, frankly, have way more important things to do than to sit with a tutor. I would rather see them on their feet, playing, creating, following directions, problem-solving, and learning about the world around them. Children this age have a short attention span for things that aren’t their own ideas and that’s not a problem! That’s the way they are supposed to learn.

That’s not to say they don’t have a lot to learn before they start school. There is a huge range of starting points for kids entering kindergarten. But kindergarten teachers expect that wide range to enter their classrooms at the end of every summer.

In any public school classroom in the U.S., kids are likely to have birthdays at least a year apart. That’s just the nature of the public school system, due to enrollment cutoffs. Teachers expect that and use a variety of techniques to meet kids where they are and bring them through the year. By high school, you wouldn’t be able to guess the age of many of the students.

In kindergarten, though, the differences can be dramatic. But in my experience as a public school teacher, some gaps are much more concerning than others. I would much rather see a student come in to the classroom who can converse with peers and adults, manage her behavior, navigate the classroom space, and solve problems. If she doesn’t know all the letters in the alphabet when she starts school, I can work with that!

Parents are constantly getting the message that they need to get their kids “ready” for kindergarten. There are workbooks and intensive preschool programs. There are family members pressuring parents to do more, comparing these preschoolers to other people’s children who were reading earlier or doing remarkable things before kindergarten! And because parents want the best for their children, they’re not sure where to turn.

Stay tuned for the next few weeks where I will be sharing some ideas for how to know whether your child is ready for kindergarten success and what kind of activities and lessons you can teach to help them be ready or when school starts this fall!

As a special education teacher, I have worked with students coming in for kindergarten screening for years. I will share some of the things that make us wonder or worry about an incoming student as well as some of the best ideas I’ve learned for promoting of the things that really matter for your child going into kindergarten.

Sorry, I don't tutor kindergartners - Here's Why

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
Kindergartners need lots of play and real-life experiences, not a tutor.

Coming soon: 4 Big Things to Teach Your Child Before Kindergarten. Join the mailing list for updates about the book and tips and tools to get your child ready for school!



Do We Have to Read this Book Again? Yes, We Do

Read it again!

I’m so tired of re-reading the same books to my preschooler!

There must be hundreds of picture books in my house. There is everything from the classics of my mother’s childhood to brand new books by Julia Donaldson and Ian Falconer. We love them all! So then why, oh why, does my three-year-old only want to read Kermie, Where Are You?, a lift the Flap Book in which Muppet Babies characters play hide and seek in the nursery?

So do I have to read it again? The reading research says yes!  Just like my preschooler wants to watch the same Alvin and the Chipmunks Halloween movie over and over again, beginning when it hits Netflix in August, and tell me the same knock-knock joke over and over again until it makes my ears fall off, he wants to hear me re-reading the same familiar stories over and over again.

As exhausting as these repetitions are, they are what our young children need to become strong readers. By re-reading the same books over and over again, they are building an understanding of what language sounds like. They are learning to anticipate events in the story, which strengthens their comprehension. And they are strengthening their memory of the vocabulary they hear in the story.

I’m not saying they need to choose the story every time, or that you have to be re-reading the same boring book non-stop until they lose interest. I absolutely say to my son, “Not tonight. I find that book boring. I would much rather read something else now and read that one later.” I say the same thing about shows he wants me to watch. We have many interest in common, but I don’t need to be excited about all of his book choices, and he doesn’t need to be excited about all of mine. We often take turns choosing books or I suggest that he read a less challenging, more repetitive book to himself or to his baby sister. Usually, he remembers enough of the story to do it.

Give yourself a break

Another option for endless re-reading of books is narrated ebooks. Epic Books is one source that, with a paid subscription, lets your child choose from a collection of pretty good books. And many of them have built in read-aloud narration. Your public library might also subscribe to Overdrive, a collection of digital books. Many of the picture books, from Pete the Cat to Llama Llama can be read aloud by the app.

The light at the end of the tunnel

But at the end of the day, we often just need to suck it up and read Go, Dog, Go yet again. Just remember, this, too, shall pass. Someday, they’ll be reading by themselves. And maybe they’ll have a good recommendation for you!

Why do young children want to read the same book over and over again? Is it even good for them?

Ways to build responsibility and important life skills in kids (That aren’t homework)

Scouting offers many benefits for growing hearts and minds, but do we have time?

I’m looking at the side of a box of Girl Scout Cookies. (Samoas, if you’re curious. Yum!) As much as I love the cookies, I love buying them from Girl Scouts even more. The side of the cookie box says that the goals of the cookie program include “Goal setting” and “Decision making” . When I was a kid, that meant going door-to-door in my neighborhood, my Nana’s neighborhood, and usually at least one more. It meant dragging all those cookies door-to-door in a wagon, right around Thanksgiving, making deliveries and collecting cash. Although it’s not a strategy I would advocate for an eight-year-old today, it taught me things that sending the order sheet to my parents’ offices never could.

Do kids today have fewer opportunities to learn responsibility?

This has come up a few times lately. A teacher at my son’s daycare complimented me for waiting and insisting that my son (who is two) put away the toys he was playing with instead of tossing them over his shoulder when he saw me walk in. I see that as an important opportunity to teach him about respect for his classroom and teachers, and an extra lesson in the ongoing course Cleaning Up After Yourself 101, which I will be teaching every semester until he moves out, I am sure.

I was also recently talking to colleague who is an occupational therapist. We both work with students with various types of special needs, and we both see the hazards of letting kids grow up without functional skills. But we both admit that our kids (mine a toddler, hers school-age) don’t have enough opportunities to practice them. We both work full-time, and are too busy to fully engage our kids in learning to take care of themselves. When I have a day off, I try to let my son help in the kitchen (he loves to make rice in the rice cooker!) or with other chores (he knows you say “corner to corner…and fold it” when you fold a washcloth, but the rest eludes him so far). But on  weekday mornings, it is all we can do to get two adults and a child fed, dressed, and into the car. And in the evening, I am completely willing to put on a TV show and hope he sits quietly while I make dinner, load the dishwasher, and do whatever else I can manage before bed.

At my house, my son has (and will have, as long as I work full time) fewer chores and responsibilities than I had at his age, if only because my husband and I don’t have enough time to teach and supervise as much as my mom did when I was young. So while I was doing laundry at 10, cooking my own mac and cheese at 9, and peddling those cookies at 8, I don’t foresee my child having the same opportunities.

Are chores and responsibilities important?

The Girl Scouts believe that their cookie sales program teaches “goal setting, decision making, money management, people skills and business ethics,” among other things. The Center for Parenting Education cites benefits like improved sense of responsibility, more self-esteem, and increased ability to tolerate frustration and wait for what they want.
Parents also worry that their children need to learn to:

  • manage time better
  • communicate or speak up for themselves
  • understand the value of money
  • work independently
  • take care of themselves (this means different things at different ages)

So how do you balance the “must-do’s” of your life with the “should-do’s” of building responsibility?

I keep telling myself that the time I’m investing in teaching my son that dirty clothes go in the hamper and dirty plates go in the dishwasher in the toddler years is going to pay off when I no longer see him finish every meal or change every outfit. *fingers crossed*

But what else can we, as parents, do to promote independence in our kids?

  1. Sports – belonging to a team gives your child a whole bunch of people to be accountable to who are not relatives or teachers. Let’s Play names improved confidence, consistent exercise, respect and relationship-building as benefits of playing on a team. For students who struggle academically, it’s important to have something to be good at. For kids who aren’t athletically inclined, it still is important to find them a physical outlet they will enjoy. Maybe swimming, dance, martial arts, or cross-country running will give your child an athletic routine at their pace, even if they aren’t the best, fastest, or most coordinated.
  2. Chores – Simple, but tried and true.

    Age-appropriate chores are tricky to find, but rewarding!

    Giving your kids a routine of chores to be responsible for can help you out, make them feel like team members in the family, and teach them core skills that they will use all their lives. And hopefully, they’ll be more likely to avoid dripping toothpaste on the counter if they are the ones that wipe it down each evening. It can be tricky to find the right, age-appropriate chores. But if you start with things your child is motivated to do, you’ll have won half the battle.

  3. Personal growth goals – What does your child want to get good at? Do they want to become better artists? Learn how to program computers? Write novels? Look for opportunities in your community or online, and then build time for it into your family’s schedule. My husband is (from my lowly perspective) a computer genius. He learned it all fooling around on the family’s computer after school as a teenager. Who knows what your child can accomplish if you give them the basic tools and teach them to make time for what they love!
  4. Learning music has many benefits for a child’s development

    Musical instruments – This might fall under the category of “things your child loves” or it might just be another thing on the schedule. But either way, musical practice teaches your child time management (I quickly learned that practicing 45 minutes the day before my trumpet lesson was not the same as practicing 15 minutes a day all week long). Laura Lewis Brown, writing for PBS.org, cites several long term benefits of music lessons, including improved IQ, increased language skills, and  improved skills in visualizing information (like those needed to solve math problems).

So why didn’t homework make my list?

The wrong homework can be a waste of time!

Eh, I’m not a huge fan of homework. As a teacher, I know that’s borderline sacrilegious. And as a tutor, it seems like a total business-killer, right?

But hear me out.

The average teacher assigns the average homework assignment to the average student, right? Because otherwise, assigning homework would be a planning and management nightmare!

The research shows that homework is not effective for elementary students. In fact, for students with good home support, good homework can be beneficial. For kids with less support around homework, or for students who didn’t understand the lesson to begin with, it’s not so useful. I would still argue that for students struggling to master basic skills (those with reading disabilities) or those with attention difficulties (who have been expending huge amounts of energy to get through the day), homework is a much lower priority than spending an afternoon and evening playing, resting, and doing activities where kids are happy and successful.

Here’s my wish

I wish teachers didn’t have to assign homework. I wish families used that time for a few activities that are meaningful for the family. That’s going to vary a ton between households. For some families, it would be cooking dinner together, for others playing in the yard or attending sports practice, and for others it would be working in the family business. All of these options give kids valuable perspectives and life skills. And I hope everyone would have a routine of reading before bed, or maybe in the morning before school!

For most elementary kids, that type of quality family time, combined with how well-rested and prepared they felt at school the next day, would be what they need to succeed in school. I think kids would do better because family stress levels would be lower and relationships in the house wouldn’t have to revolve around math facts 5 nights a week.

Other kids may need some extra help somewhere along the line. Tutoring, provided in short, frequent, focused lessons, helps kids strengthen weak skills and catch up to their peers so they can make the most of each school day. Although it takes a chunk out of a child’s available time in the afternoon or evening, carefully planned tutoring can make a huge difference in your child’s school success, long-term!